The Soy Chicken Masacre

My children are napping and in quiet time so I will try to post this fast….

I am an okay cook.  I can usually make anything as long as I have directions.  Don’t ask me to add lib (is that the right spelling?) or try to figure out a spice combo that I will enjoy because I can’t and I won’t.  I usually turn to my Better Homes Cook book or All Recipes.  Well, this time, All Recipes let me down…BIG TIME.

I love whole chickens.  I think they are mighty tasty straight from the oven and even better as a sandwich the next day.  This time not so much.

Here is what happened –

We are on an incredibly tight budget so when there is a chance to stock up on something I stock and stock and stock…Well this was my last whole chicken from the crazy Chicken stocking of 2009.  I browsed All Recipes for a yummy dish that used the ingredients that I had on hand.  The one I chose sounded good and I modified it the way the “expert” cooks recommended. However, in the middle of the cooking process I knew something was amiss.  The house smelled funny, a weird combo of soy sauce and chicken.  I tried to brush it off because this was the first time I had used my crock pot to cook a whole chicken and I thought “maybe this is the cooking process.”  Boy was I wrong!

After the six hours or was it 8, I don’t even remember, I pulled the lid off the crock pot and was horrified.  My chicken did not look like it should… it was this weird brown ash color.  I tried to lift it from the pot, AS INSTRUCTED, and it fell apart.  I should have taken this as a warning sign.  Did I, NOOOOO, instead I got out the tongs and started fishing out pieces.  I put them all on a plate to make sure that they were fully cooked.  Then I did the worst, I ate some.  What a soy catastrophe… I want to cry….I wanted to vomit.  My kids picked at it and I swear I saw it move.

What was the lesson of this enormous waste of my grain feed chicken = Soy is bad and don’t trust the expert cooks.

Verdict = Two thumbs down.


18 responses to “The Soy Chicken Masacre

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