Are you a Kindergarten mom? Have you been a Kindergarten mom? If you have answered yes to these two questions than you may know what I am talking about. If you are not at that stage, look out! There are so many hoops to jump through, 500 yard dashes, and other that you should start stretching now…
This is my first go around of being a Kindergarten mom. When the year started I had dreams of working in the classroom, helping the teacher, helping the children, and of course being the favorite class mom. Those dreams were shattered in about a month. These moms are competitive. Olympic competitive. They all had the same dreams I did and they are willing to sign up for anything and everything to be THE mom. I had no idea what was coming. I did not have my running shoes on to keep up…
Not all of them are this crazy level of competitive. Some are completely normal and others have no interest in working with a bunch of people under 4 feet. No judgment, I understand. I have decided that there are stages of crazy competitiveness and I have placed them in levels. Please remember this is all based on my on opinions and not meant to hurt feelings.
Level 1: The Constant Mom. She is ALWAYS there. EVERY DAY. She shows up early and stays late…She can almost be the teacher. I am curious about the level 1 mom. How does she do this? Does she not have any other kiddos at home? Is she there because this is her last baby? Is it overprotective? I will say the constant mom intimidates me. I can not and frankly do not want to be there every day, all day. I enjoy the time my son is away at school, a lot. I don’t particularly want to be covered in glue, glitter, and little bits of paper for the rest of the day.
Level 2: The Wanna-be Constant Mom: This mom wants to be there everyday but there are circumstances that are preventing her from working in the classroom. I have learned that this mom should be approached with caution and maybe something shiny to distract her when the claws come out. This mom is ready to eat your young in order for her’s to succeed and is completely willing to bad mouth you, the teachers, the other moms, your cousin, your dog…. you get the point. Now I am sure there are some Level 2s that are not ready to eat little children, they just want to be in the classroom as much as a Level 1 but they can’t. I know a level 2, she scares me.
Level 3:The Every Other Week Mom: I am a level 3. This mom likes to work in the classroom, enjoys the goings on but is also fine not being there. There is no hidden competition. We like being there to make sure everything is running smoothly, help the teacher, meet the friends of our children and let’s face it, laugh at the funny things they say. I do believe that we level 3s need to stick together because those Level 2s are out to get us….like Jaws.
Level 4: The No Thanks Mom: This is NOT a bad level. A LOT of moms work and they can’t be there so they try to help out everywhere they can outside of class! It’s all good to me ladies! There are also some moms that are just fine with staying home with or without younger kiddos that just have no interest in working in the classroom. Just beware those Level 1s and 2s may be bad mouthing you….however if I am there I will defend you guys!
Now if Kindergarten mom was an Olympic sport level 1 would be gold, 2 would be silver, and 3 bronze. I am A-OKAY with bronze. In fact, Level 1 should beware with that gold. The Level 2 mom is calling Tonya Harding right now and discussing how to take out your knee so that your classroom days are over….